Fourteen Days Later

The sky is blue, the cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and I am in self-isolation due to exposure to COVID-19. Serving in a restaurant full-time during a pandemic, I knew this time would come, I just did not know when.

As we descended the curve of the second wave and sailed into March, there was a premature sigh of relief that, “we made it.” After celebrating my one-year anniversary with Pandemic Pete, I was grateful to see him change out of his sweatpants and return to the office whence he came.

Serving a steady flow of guests at the restaurant, I eased up the tight restrictions on my bank account. I bought an air purifier for my allergies, a Blu-Ray player for my movie collection, and a kitchen scale to measure my food portions.

“Surely, they can’t shut us down now,” I told my core bubble, before popping the cork on a third bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape. Then, as quickly as the wine flowed, the case counts surged.

It came as no surprise then, when a week later, my friend Claire called to say, “THEY’RE SHUTTING US DOWN!” Looking around my apartment at each one of my new purchases, I experienced a twinkle of joy fade into a twinge of regret. Returning to the restaurant to help with take-out, I looked at a shuttered dining room and thought, “we came so close.”

One week later, I received a phone call from the Public Health Authority that would shift my reality once again.

“Rugged Fox, you are required to self-isolate for the next fourteen days,” a contact tracer notified me, along with 16,000 other British Columbians.

“Does that mean I can still see my friends?” I asked.

“Definitely not,” they replied.

The second our call was over, I texted my friend Hannah, “I am going to need more rosé. Like a lot more.”

Fourteen days later, I would like to report to you that I flourished in self-isolation; but that would be fiction. It is a curious experience to wake-up each morning, wondering “is today the day I get sick?” As a human being, feeling infectious or ill is not ideal or pleasant. Neither is a pandemic.

My first few days alone were a hot mess. I got lost in my mind, and rather than respond mindfully to my emotions, like I had practiced meditating, I reacted harshly. I treated myself with unkindness and drank red wine for breakfast. I felt disappointed that all the hard work I had done this past year to improve myself was now gone. Then, I reminded myself, this too shall pass.

“Fourteen days later, I would like to report to you that I flourished in self-isolation; but that would be fiction.”

It took almost a full week but one morning I woke up and could feel the sunshine again. Taking a stroll to Lost Lagoon, I sat on a distanced bench and took a deep breath in. I looked up at the snow-peaked mountains, and exhaled, listening to the sounds of all the birds. I smiled at the sight of geese waddling, ducks swimming, and seagulls taking off in flight. I put down my phone.

Each day is different but this past week, overall, has been better. Less stressed and more productive, I felt more and more relief each day that passed, I did not develop symptoms. Passing the time, I read books, drew a few comics, and wrote in my journal about wanting to write more. I took a Masterclass with RuPaul and took notes on self-compassion as well as how to apply foundation on a drag queen. I felt gratitude for all my friends who dropped off bags in front of my door.

As this pandemic carries on, hopefully not for too much longer (!) I hope that you are safe and well.