Fox in the Mirror
Sweet Meryl! Where have I been all this time? Stalking handsome men on Instagram obviously.
The other night at the restaurant, I confided with my colleague the bartender about my recent writer’s block. “I simply have to write Rugged out of the STI clinic,” I told him, loading up a drink tray. “The poor guy has been stuck there for weeks now.”
Okay, so here’s the deal! I promise I will continue writing the series called “Sex Life” (in which there is no sex, of course, just blood work) as soon as my fingers see fit. For now, I’d like to remain out of the nurse’s office… for once!
Well, I can tell you from experience, this May on the Coast has been a cool and wet one. Just when spring arrived with the promise of sunshine and warmth, old man winter decided he was not going anywhere yet. While I do very much like cute sweaters and scarves, I am also a firm believer in jean shorts.
In other news, boy oh boy, does it feel good to be busy again! Now that many of the public health restrictions have lifted, I am grateful to return to the life I completely took for granted. Without Plexiglass, The Pasta Shack feels like it is 2019 again. My singing group, “The Sharpest Flats,” have resumed their Saturday morning practices – and, according to Grindr, the Fox Den is open for business, right now. Oh hey.
It is curious, I don’t think I realized how stressed I have been these past few years, until I started feeling calm. Meeting an acquaintance for coffee in an actual shop, I looked at all the people around me and thought, “well, this doesn’t seem terrifying.” Sitting down with the ladies for brunch, I was reminded of how wonderful a conversation with good friends can be, when you are not worried about infecting them.
“With nowhere to go or hide, I had no choice, but to put down my face creams and take a closer look in the mirror.”
While the sight of hand sanitizer in the clearance bin is a welcome one, I cannot deny the impact of these last few years.
In hindsight, as much as I do not recommend isolation, I must admit there were a few benefits coming out the other side. For starters, I was forced to do the tough mental, emotional, and spiritual work I have been avoiding for decades. With nowhere to go or hide, I had no choice, but to put down my face creams and take a closer look in the mirror. I am not going to lie; I didn’t like everything I saw. In an emergency Zoom session right after, my counsellor Dahn reassured me “that is okay.”
Now, before we start twisting caps and popping corks to celebrate a job well done, let’s be real, I still have plenty of work to do! It is no secret that while I excel in many aspects of life; sobriety is not one of them. My love of pink wine has led me to the bottom of more cardboard boxes than I care to admit. And even now that it is legal to live outside a bubble, I still find myself retreating home most nights.
Well, I must go for now! I hope these words find you well and I look forward to catching up soon.
Yours in red hair and wine,
Mr. R. Fox.
