the fox came back

Did ya miss me? The answer is yes.

Alright, since you last left this redhead here is what has happened on the West Coast:

  1. I bought a bicycle.
  2. I turned 24.
  3. I had three anxiety attacks.
  4. I learned how to George Foreman a steak.
  5. I got picked up by a Canadian soldier, but then fell back over.
  6. I wrote 5,000 words of my novel (a start).
  7. I bought a membership to Fitness World.
  8. I listened to David Archuleta’s “Crush” seven million times.
  9. I googled my local AA chapter.
  10. I mustered up enough courage to ask myself why I moved here.

I am not going to lie this last month has been pretty rough! Last May when I was on the prairies, I dreamed a dream this July would be filled with days spent at the beach, late-night flings, and dusks journaling in front of sunsets. But as Winona Ryder and Ethan Hawke over-acted in 1994, reality bites.

Rather then days at the beach, I have spent afternoons in the walk-in clinic. Anxiety has made me its bitch this season and let me tell you, it has not been merciful. It’s hard for me to explain the terrifying feeling that the world is collapsing when it is 24 degrees and sunny outside, but rest assured it is not fun. It is only in this last week the clouds have begun to drift from devastating my unconscious. I am happy to report though, the psychological forecast for next month is much less neurotic.

So what am I so scared of you ask? That is an excellent question, and one I am still in the midst of finding an answer to. That said, I am fairly certain my phobias lie somewhere mysteriously deep-rooted within myself. (Can you tell I have been reading a lot of Jung lately?) For as long as I can remember, I have kept myself so busy with work and school that I never had time to cope with some of the darker thoughts lurking around my mind. Since I moved out here, all I have had is time, and let me tell you it has not been on my side.

Attempting to cope with your entire life in the space of one day is enough to bring anyone to their knees. And that is exactly where I have been.

Anyways, enough of this deep stuff for now! Choose your own adventure and let me know what you want to read about in the next blog:

  1. How a bus boy helped me come out at work.
  2. Waking up 24 with a bloody ear and no clue how I got home.
  3. What description I gave myself in my online profile.

Come on, I know I have more than 4-6 readers (at least I hope I do!) Post a comment (you can call yourself anonymous) and let me know your choice of 1, 2 or 3. I will get back to you next time with the entry that wins.