Tall, Nonfat and Extra Hot

$20,000, six years, and one Bachelor of Arts degree in English later, I find myself working on the assembly line of the 21st century at Starbucks. Having completed my Barista 100 Certification this past week, I am now qualified to steam, blend and call-out a number of delicious beverages the company has to offer. After putting on the green apron for the first time last week, I could not help but think that after frequenting the coffee shop almost everyday for the past three years, I would’ve found my career path sooner.

Beating the sun to work before my very first shift, my body froze outside the two polished glass doors that led inside. Peering into my future, I watched the green aprons fly by while a steady line-up of people shuffled in and out with the white-cups in place of their hands. Terrified, my legs became numb the second they tried to run. My arms listless, I willed myself to open the door but could not move a finger. I was paralyzed by the fear I was making the wrong decision and filled with doubt I could not change even if I tried. Looking up for some clarity to the overcast skies above, I begged the clouds for an answer to my question: is this for me?

Well it appeared someone was listening; because at that exact moment the cutest medical student with the biggest backpack literally knocked the sense right back into me. Misjudging his reach for the handle on the door, he accidentally side-swiped me with his backpack. Good thing for me though, because as he turned to around to apologize, the second his homosexual eyes locked mine I found the answer I was looking for.

“What am I talking about??” I thought to myself. “Apart from San Francisco, Broadway and select cruise ships, Starbucks is Gay Mecca… of course this is for me!”

The blood rushing back to my head, I managed to get my bearings and proceeded to walk through the front doors which the boy in question was holding open for me. Clocking in five minutes later, I felt as if I was not only starting a new job, but also a new chapter in my twenty-something life.

If I have learned anything in the workforce these past ten years, it is that a job can provide a person with much more then a steady paycheque (if that!). My decision to jump ship from the restaurant industry, or at least try to, was spurred on by the fact that I am looking for certain things in my life at this moment, that I cannot achieve working the hours of a server. At this point - and keep in mind after four months of working full-time for ten bucks an hour I might be singing a different tune! - I am seeking routine, stability and structure. And after dropping $400 at the dentist in November, I am also in search of a job that provides benefits.

But above all else, and most importantly, I am looking for a husband. And because I chose to apply at the Starbucks in the hospital, I can practically sit back and take my pick of any doctor, nurse, or med student who walks in the door.

I can see it now...

RUGGED FOX: Here’s your tall dark served extra hot Mr. Unavailable Doctor Man.

POTENTIAL DOCTOR HUSBAND: You have just what I need.

RUGGED FOX: *girlish squeak* I know, I know. I have a fifteen coming up, on-call room in ten?