Don't Call Me Bottom Anymore

I suspect I may have some readers to this blog. Just to catch you up on what you've missed, I'm gay and fabulous.

I am happy to report the date Knight went off without a hitch.  Arriving at the theatre without a second to spare, I was happy to see him waiting for me hair gelled and ready to go.

Throughout the movie, I could not overcome my overwhelming desire to hold his hand. For the first thirty minutes, I made sure my left hand was vacant and ready for him to check in. An hour later with still no guest, I took a more direct route. Spreading my fingers wide open, I gently placed my palm face up on my knee, and then accidentally grazed his legs so he would take notice. Failing to draw his attention away from the screen, I felt like Cher trying to seduce Christian in a losing battle with Tony Curtis. Alas, I threw in the towel, returned my hand to my jacket pocket, and resigned myself to the fifth chapter of Tarantino’s latest film.

Call me old-fashioned or just a bad homosexual, but I like taking it slow.

Although the action on the movie screen may have been restricted, I was perfectly fine with the fact that our second date was PG-13. This came as an especial relief, after the nature of my previous two dates turned out to be NC-17.

Before I even made it out on a date with Nate, I learned via-text messaging that his idea of a good time involved him in leather and me on all four knees begging for more. Attributing me with the somewhat-flattering pet-name “silly bottom” each time we’d text, I questioned myself as to whether I could settle for this idea of romance. Bottom-line is that I think we misunderstood each other. Because when I checked off the box that stated I preferred not being on top, it meant that I wanted him to hold the door open for me; not gag me with a red leather ball.

After the conclusion of Matthew and I’s first date (the one who stood me up on the second) we continued to text into the early hours of the morning. Naturally one thing led to another and before I knew it I was doing things that I never thought possible over text. At first everything was fine and monogamous, until all of a sudden he suggested opening up our relationship. Asking me if I would be willing to *$&#! and then ^%&&&! with two other (*##*&@!*) all I could think at the time was “Seriously? I haven’t even held your hand yet.”

So as you see, it came to my absolute satisfaction that Knight moved at just my speed. Walking me to the bus stop afterwards I asked him if next time I could hold his hand. Looking at me through his big brown eyes he smiled and said playfully, “if you play your cards right.” Here’s hoping slow and steady wins the race!