no quarter life crisis for this bitch

*Author’s note: I cannot express to you enough the joy it brings me to insert the word ‘bitch’ wherever possible. I think it is a gay male thing.

Alright so it seems like this year, every 24-year-old with a blog is making lists of what they would like to accomplish when they turn 25. Never one to be left out, I have decided to assemble a list of goals that I would like to achieve by the time I drink a two-six on my two-six. Although my birthday is not for another two weeks, naturally I have started the celebrations early.

So without further due, here is my list in no particular order, except for chronological: 

1. Wear more colourful socks.

This is a fashion-choice that I have been thinking seriously about for the last five years and experimented with recently in baseball. So far the reception to my stylish ankles has been positive, except for one hater who said to me in passing, and I quote, “hey buddy, lose the socks.” If last year was the year of the hat, then this is the year of the sock.

2. Drink more expensive bottles of wine. 

3. Google the words “budget” and “definition” together on the same line. Read the results.

4. Publish my much-anticipated novel.

Note: This goal has been carried over from my 22nd, 23rd and 24th birthdays.

5. Increase bicep circumference as to fill sleeves on a small-size shirt.

Although the abs-counter is still holding steady at zero, I am happy to announce that I have gained eleven pounds since this time last year. Whether it was the enormous quantity of beer I have consumed in the last two months, or all the hard hours I have spent thinking about going to the gym, I am finally moving up a shirt size!

6. Date a man with a view, unless he is a douche, in which case only stay the night.

7. Edit friends list on Facebook as to cut ties with everyone who is now dead to me.

8. Spend less money on skin products and more on cover-up.

9. Rekindle my relationship with gin.

As some of you may know, last June I had a devastating break-up with Tanqueray after he caught me in bed with Hendricks and a cucumber. The entire experience was quite traumatizing and left me black-listed from the gin shelf altogether. Now that enough time has passed I think it is safe for me to ask Beefeater on a date. He sounds just like my type.

10. Hit a home run.

The entire baseball league knows I have no problems getting to home base off the field; however, on it is a different matter. No matter how much I have put out these last few weeks behind the plate, I still can’t seem to make it passed first.

11. Hold a man’s hand in the following places: (1) Stanley Park (2) English Bay (3) My couch. 

Note: Preferably not a strange man and someone I am in love with. That said, I will take whatever I can get.

12. Make-out with more girls because I am good at it.

13. Shop for a religion that I won’t return within a year. 

14. Buy a tennis outfit.

15. Increase average daily hits to RuggedFox.com from 3 to 5. Post highly-photo-shopped naked pictures of self if situation gets desperate.

16. Find a husband.

PS. If you liked this post, you will like this one and this one too. 

Comments

[Emily Jane]

Now print this list out and tape it to your fridge. :) I love writing out lists of goals, especially publicly because then I have the Internet to hold me accountable. And I will definitely try and help hold you accountable to such a fabulous list :) Happy almost birthday!

[Ell]

Woo! Love the idea of one, two and fourteen. Also, I find the writing of said lists easier than actually doing them. Happy Birthday, though! I'm sure it will be celebrated in foxy style :)

[Charleen]

If you posted more often Dahling maybe you would get more hits. Love the list, think I am going to make one for myself.

[Ryan]

I am already hooked!