the lists.

I admit it, I cheated.

Alright lovers, before we get to the good stuff we must take this moment to go over some very important Fox business matters.

Important Fox Business Matter number the 1^st

While engaging in some very serious thought the other afternoon while entertaining a refreshing glass of Pinot Gris, I decided I was no longer going to refer to this site as a “blog.” Presented in descending chronological order, here are the reasons why I came to this conclusion:

5. I have never liked the word to begin with. It sounds like a cat just spit up.

4. If this is a blog then it blows. It is never updated, changes its entire format every ten minutes, and doesn’t continue entries when it says it will.

3. It seems like everyone and their dog writes a blog these days. The Fox is a boozer not a blogger. Lets not get the two mixed up.

2. On average, Rugged Fox receives 52 less comments per post than other popular blogs but 75 times more laughs per paragraph. I am not really sure why this is a reason.

1. I will get back to you on this one.

Anyways, all this is to say that I need to come up with a new word to describe this site other then “fabulous” and “the best thing you have ever read.” If you have any vocabularic (yes grammar police I just made this word up) ideas, please post them in the comments section below.

Important Fox Business Matter number the Second  

            While searching the internet for some new reading material the other day, I stumbled across one of the most entertaining sites I have ever had the pleasure of reading! The Fox thinks he may have just found a new best friend to be highly inappropriate with! Her name is Veronica Voluptas and she can be found at Confessions of a Naughty Nun. Here is a little taste of her wicked fingers:

“Two weeks ago I entertained the blonde ambition, who wouldn’t sleep with me but did tell me I had nice side boob. Now that is a once-in-a-lifetime compliment from a man, but judging from the fact that there have been no subsequent erotic encounters (or even phone calls, GASP!), I’d say he’s on the express bus to gaytown. Because honestly, who isn’t into a naughty nun?”

I look forward to keeping posted on her confessions and I know you will too.

Important Fox Business Matter number the 3^rd

            Seriously how sad is Oprah these days? Because of my schedule this past month I have been watching the talk show God religiously. I don’t know if I am just tired or my hormones are out of whack, but at four o’clock in the afternoon each day I am in hysterical tears. One day four black boys are sitting on her couch after almost being starved to death, the next day will.i.am is saving people’s homes, and today Justin Bieber is Skyping with the most beautiful American black soldier in Iraq - I am forclemped.

Alright, now on to the good stuff! And by that I mean me. 

I hung up my green apron last Saturday at five o’clock p.m. for good. After being subjected to not one but two Frappuccino Happy Hour’s last week (a fate worse then death) I high-tailed it out of there and hopped a cab to the restaurant for a 515 start. Rolling back to my apartment around one thirty in the morning, I set my alarm clock for ‘off’ and reveled in the fact I did not have to wake up to serve the world coffee.

Upon reflection, here is what I learned from my experience at Starbucks:

1. Do not look to a job, or for that matter a relationship, to give you structure in this life. Structure must come from within. When I left the restaurant, I truly believed that the global coffee chain would get me in to bed sober and before eleven o’clock out each night. Well - what a pipe dream that was! After rolling up in a cab at six one morning after staying up the entire night with Joy, I realized that no one can tuck me in but myself.
2. Money makes the world go round. There are very few servers who can make the industry work for them: generally they are the more boring ones who don’t go out for drinks after work and know the definition of the word “budget.” I, of course, am not one of them. Working at Starbucks was the first time in six years that I had to live by a paycheck and obviously I did not last very long. It was naïve of me to think that I could take a $10,000 pay-cut and not sacrifice my drinking problem. In the end the wine won.
3. There are a lot of truly great people in this world, and many of them wear green aprons to work. I can honestly say that I have never met so many amazing people, from so many walks of life, as I did as a Starbucks partner. I have always held a great respect for the American corporation as being one of the most diverse and accepting employers in the world - and I still do. Serving in one of the richest areas in Vancouver it is easy sometimes to forget what a real human being looks like – I am grateful to all the friendly faces I had the chance to bag pastries beside.  
4. Nothing good can come from inside the pastry case at Starbucks. After developing a month long addiction to Oat Fudge Bars and Double-Chunk Chocolate Chip Cookies I lost all two of my visible abdominal muscles. I finally returned to the gym this morning to get them back.    

So where am I now? Well that is a good question. I have no clue except for that I am back at the restaurant four nights a week and am trying not to make the same mistakes I did last time. I have set goals for myself that include but are not limited to:

1. Going to the gym three times per week as to maintain general health and retrieve lost upper body muscles.
2. Volunteering at the Queer Resource Centre downtown so that I can be a good person.
3. Treating writing as a part-time job and reporting to work 15-18 hours per week.
4. Not drinking so much beer after each baseball game as to not become massive skank.

Well even though I didn’t actually write anything in this post, I think it is time for me to put this keyboard to rest. But before I do, did I mention I will be performing in full drag this June 12^th at Celebrities? That’s right folks, the beard is coming off and the chest and legs are being waxed! More details to follow. Have a good night folks and lets cross our fingers this week’s episode of Glee is much better than the last two!!

Comments

[Charleen]

Fabulous post, nice and informative. So give up the word blog and call it your reflections or your confessions depending on what is in the body of the piece. You could go all biblical and call it your missives but I doubt that one will excite you. I CANNOT wait to see you in drag, assuming you are going to post a picture.