the countdown begins

Alright so let’s be real people, I know you’re all sitting there asking: where did the Fox go? Did he start getting laid? Did he start writing for someone else? Did he break both his wrists in a freak barista accident? And the answer to all your questions is yes, yes he absolutely did. Whether or not we are talking about the same thing, however, is a completely different matter.

Love hurts, especially when it's three inches around.

After fulfilling my twenty-ten ten New Year’s resolution to get laid last February, I came to the conclusion that as great as sexual intercourse is, at this time I have no desire for the man that comes with it. I mean don’t get me wrong, my new headboard was more than grateful for the chance to broken in, and I did appreciate the chance to be with someone who was not downloaded for a change, except it just wasn’t where I was at. Lying in bed naked beside another man, the entire time I could not help but think of how nice it would be to return to an empty set of sheets.

And so, taking matters into my own hands, I decided to buy the next best thing. Be that as it may, one trip to Little Sister’s Bookstore and VISA slip later for 110 dollars later, I became the proud owner of this country’s hottest selling men’s sex toy. Now that I am having my cake and eating it too, I am happy to report that I am sleeping better than ever and have no troubles walking to work in the morning. In the immortal words of Woody Allen, “don’t knock masturbation - it’s sex with someone I love.”

In Print.

After being rejected by one publication after another in this once Olympic city, I am finally being published again. The magazine I am now free-lancing for is a hot Vancouver gay men’s magazine that I happened to pick-up one afternoon while I was downtown. Meeting with the editor last month over a tall-four-pump-no-water-no-foam-extra-hot-tazo chai latte, I was given my first assignment: to write a feature article on how gay men play in 2010. Leaving our conversation without a clue as to what I was going to write about, I ended up playing off my strengths and crafting him article about a subject I know all to well about: not having sex. The issue hits stands in Vancouver and select men’s underwear stores in Toronto and Montreal in April.

400 grams of Advil every 4 hours until it no longer hurts.

Contrary to the “love hurts” paragraph you read above, the only thing predominantly swollen these days is the tendon in my right arm. After visiting the doctor last week, I learned that I have tendonitis, also known as “my arm fucking hurts like hell.” It turns out that lifting 4 litre milk jugs 40 hours a week is not one of Starbucks many benefits. The doctor prescribed me a massive dose of Advil and gave me a prescription for physiotherapy. He advised me to stop using my arm and I advised him that I have to pay rent. The worst part of the entire ordeal is that it now hurts to hold a pen – can you imagine a worse fate for a fledgling writer? Good news is I still haven’t lost my dramatic touch.

All good-looking things must come to an end.

In other news, I have decided to stop writing “The Misadventures of Rugged Fox.” After two long years, this will be my last month typing for the website. Of course I will be back in some way, shape or form in the future - goodness knows the Fox is far from retirement and if all goes well, he will be the title of a book coming to a shelf near you. Except for right now, I feel it is time to go offline for a bit and crawl back into my hole (no sexual pun intended … ew.) Always one to appreciate a good finish, however, I will not leave until you are completely satisfied.

That is why in the next three weeks, I hope to answer any questions you may have and bring an end to some of the tales I have started. If you have a question that you would like me to answer, please send it to rugged.fox@gmail.com or if you prefer, post it anonymously in the comment section. Also, I would like to assemble a “Best of Rugged Fox” post, so if there is a particular entry you remember, please let me know why you remember it, and I will include it in the list.

I hope this finds you well just like it finds me with a glass of red wine.

Kisses. Rugged.

Comments

[pinkjellybaby]

Damn! I expect hilarious facebook or email updates please.....

[Emily Jane]

Congrats on the writing gig! You totally deserve it, but I'm going to miss the Fox - stay in touch? & hope your arm feels better soon!

Em xx

[Ky]

Noooooooooo.........the Fox can't go!!!

In the spirit of Vancouver protesters "Hell no, the Fox can't go! Hell no, the Fox can't go!"

Seriously, that's AWESOME about your new writing gig - big Congrats!

Secondly, I have tendonitis too - we'll have to talk about your rehab plans : )

Third, it is great comfort to learn the Fox is not gone forever, just reinventing himself xo

[Margarita]

Well congrats on the new published gig, and ouch for the starbucks arms (can you sue them?? or is it an occupational hazard? maybe they'll pay for the prescriptions if there are any?? - i sound so american right now)

And congrats on finishing the rugged fox, are you still doing your personal blog?

[ellebee]

no!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE reading you. It makes me feel closer to you. I don't miss you as much... I am weeping....